Facebook: The New Online Dating Service?

I am so SICK of the Facebook hookups. I am so SICK of brothers hiding behind a computer screen trying to initiate a relationship. Ladies, am I the only one experiencing this disgust? The social media phenomenon has spread like wild fire and is not going to die down any time soon. Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Skype, etc have become household names, in this 21st century generation. Nevertheless, with all the technological advances that we have seen in the last 10-15 years, I think it is safe to say that there has been a regression in the level of social interaction between people as a result of the dependency of social media. We would rather “tweet” our real thoughts and feelings rather than picking up the phone to say hello to a friend. We would much rather post our feelings on our Facebook wall than really have a heart to heart with a friend, coworker, and/or family member about what’s really bothering us. Likewise, the majority of 21st century guys would much rather send you a message about “hooking up with you” rather than approaching a young lady face to face. Does anyone else see the problem with that?!

I’ve had about 5-6 separate instants throughout the course of this year that have caused me to question whether or not brothers of the 21st century desire or even know how to pursue the old fashioned way any more. It always starts out the same, “Hi, my name is ( you fill in the name, ladies). I was looking at your Facebook profile, and you are absolutely beautiful. I would like to get to know you better…and blah, blah, blah”

What makes this even more upsetting is that these various approaches have been from brothers who are believers!! This should not be, gentleman. This is not the way to approach a woman of God, in hopes of a godly relationship leading to marriage. Don’t get me wrong: I believe that Social Media can be a great tool, and a great resource to rally people behind a cause. Nevertheless, I don’t believe that social media should substitute real human interaction. I shared these same sentiments with another good friend of mine over the summer who also was experiencing brothers in the church trying to initiate a relationship through Facebook or email. What happened to the thrill of the pursuit, gentlemen? What happened to seeking out information about a young lady you’re interested in from her family, close friends, pastors, coworkers, etc. Is now just easier to just find this information on her facebook page? Men of God are the ones who are to pursue wives. But, with this new age of “Facebook Hookups,” it’s not looking very promising for those of us who are patiently waiting on the Lord for our Boaz.

Ladies, my question is this: why do you think more and more brothers are choosing to initiate relationships via the web?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!


On September 4th, 2011, posted in: Blog by Larissa
3 Responses to Facebook: The New Online Dating Service?
  1. I think that it’s true based on the things I see around me. But a guy should never ask a girl out on facebook, if they can’t do the same face to face. Be a gentlemen: if you really want this person to be your’s then, step up. Social network is great but there are things you should and should do.

  2. It’s funny because I was just talking about that with some of my “boys”. There is a whole generation of boys out there that do not know what it feels like to call the house of the girl you liked, having the father pick up the phone and you having to make sure to remove all the bass from your voice before you can introduce yourself and politely ask for her. “Hello SIR. This is John. I am a classmate of your daughter, Jane. How are you today? Would it be okay if I could speak with you daughter for a brief moment? Thank you SIR.” One of the most terrifying conversations a boy can ever have. Nowadays, it’s all about instant gratification: facebook, text, email. There is no longer a need to court a lady and the sad thing is that women have accepted it by allowing these boys to continue to talk to them that way.
    Please notice that I say “boy” because a real man knows how to court a lady.

    • You are absolutely right. In my opinion, I think it’s almost a “rite of passage” for a young man to first ask a young lady’s father permission to spend time with her on the phone, or in a public place, and then to ultimately ask for her hand in marriage. Sadly, because of the number of fathers (or lack therefore) and mothers too, who are not raising men of integrity and character, what we have left are a bunch of cowardly men. If anyone should be teaching young men how to be men, especially if the presence of a father is not present in the home, is the church of the living God. The Amplified version of the Bible reads, “In a similar way, urge the younger men to be self-restrained and to behave prudently [taking life seriously].”(Titus 2:6). If the older women are supposed to be teaching the younger women how to love their children and husbands, how to manage a household, how to love God as wives and mothers, and everything else, WHO, may I ask, is teaching these YOUNGER MEN?! We are living in a world now, where as you stated, is all about instant gratification. I’m sick of “Instant gratification.” It has taken its toll on families, marriages, and the remaining fiber of this society. So ladies, take heart and be of good courage. Despite the statistics and the “slim pickings” that we are faced with on a daily basis about males, there IS a remnant of godly men somewhere who LOVE God, who are worshippers of God and will make your wait so worth it. Ladies, YOU ARE WORTH THE WAIT. Politely delete requests to date you or “get to know you better” from little boys on Facebook. Wait for a real godly man.

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