Take the Rose Colored Glasses Off! (Part 1)

Hello again ladies!

I think we all have had the experience where we were in a relationship with someone, only later to say to ourselves, “What was I thinking?!” So often we as young women can get so infatuated with a young man that it is easy to miss red flags that others may see, but we may not. This short excerpt comes from one of my favorite chapters in the book, entitled, “Lessons I’ve Learned about Dating.”  Enjoy!


In 1 Corinthians 13, by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Paul so eloquently pens the most famous chapter on love.However, nowhere in my Bible have I found that love is blind. This age old phrase in American culture has been used as a crutch unfortunately, for many people to dive head first into relationships and marriages with no thorough evaluation of the other person. Psalm 65:4 in the New King James Bible says, “Blessed is the man you choose and causes to approach you. That he may dwell in your courts and shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house”.

Ladies, although men are the initiators, we have the task of either choosing to accept or decline a young man’s desire to pursue us. Dr. Gary Chapman really gives an excellent description of the in love phenomenon that we all experience when we first engage in a relationship with someone. Dr. Chapman writes,

“The experience of falling in love is not a foundation for a happy marriage. It is highly possible to be in love with someone you should not marry. On the other hand, the tingles may develop into the emotional obsession I am calling the experience of falling in love. None of this requires much effort or thought. All you did was show up, and the emotions took over. However, a marital relationship designed to last a lifetime requires more than these euphoric, obsessive feelings(Chapman, 159).”

This obsessive stage normally lasts between one to two years, Dr. Chapman also mentions in his book. In my little rose colored stage, I was clearly living on cloud nine every waking second. I will say that it is definitely not a wise choice to make any drastic decisions during this stage. During this stage, it is difficult to see the forest from the trees.

I can remember that we started courting in September of 2006; by October we were acting like a little married couple. By December, we were already talkingabout marriage, looking at engagement rings and furniture for a home–crazy, right? All the while, I’m not doing my homework by asking questions such as:”How are we gonna pay for these things?” “What will you do while I’m done with school?” and more.

Falling in love is a wonderful thing; however, do not allow yourself to be so infatuated with another person that you lose all common sense! Marriage is life long commitment, a covenant established by God. Therefore, take the rose colored glasses off long enough to ask the right questions, do your homework, and see the other person for who they really are.

On August 29th, 2010, posted in: Blog by Larissa
6 Responses to Take the Rose Colored Glasses Off! (Part 1)
  1. Falling in love is beautiful but man does it make you look like a fool sometimes. I remember watching movies where the daughter says to her dad “I don’t care what you think! I love him and so what if he has 5 kids and lives with his momma and doesn’t have a job! He loves me !” You have to come to grips with reality. I just thank God for opening my eyes. I remember one time when I thought I was in love with this guy and was totally blinded by my emotions. But once God opened my eyes to what was really going on I felt so stupid, lol. I can laugh about it now because it was a lesson learned but that thing really did hurt. If you really trust God with your heart He will show you the truth and try to prevent you from making really crazy decisions.

  2. Just wanted to make another comment. When people use the phrase “Love is Blind” I think they feel it means that when you love someone you don’t see any of their faults. So that makes me think of the Bible and Jesus’ sacrifice for us. Yes Jesus loves us despite our faults but it doesn’t make Him blind to it as if it never existed. I feel that real love brings things into reality and gives you the power to really and truly deal with things and people. Like in Corinthians, when it says that love is patient and kind, you’re gonna need patience when your mate is acting a fool. Love doesn’t give you the right to ignore problems but the strength and wisdom on how to handle problems.

  3. T.K. , I like your comment on how “love doesn’t give you the right to ignore problems but the strength and widsom on how to handle problems.” That is so true! I think it’s important that young ladies are realistic about the guys that they choose to engage in a relationship with. The truth of the matter is, if you are ready for a purposeful relationship that will lead to a God honoring marriage, and he has the “Peter Pan Syndrome”–refuses to grow up, you are wasting your time. A lot of times, young women love the idea of “being in love” and negate that a relationship requires a lot more than just fuzzy feelings inside.


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